DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend is 27. When he was still a teenager, he was arrested and convicted of stealing a car. The story he told me is that he did it on a dare from one of his friends, who by the way is currently serving time for a much more serious crime. I don’t know the details, and honestly, I do not want to.
I really want to give my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt that his criminal act was what my mother keeps calling “a youthful indiscretion.” Also, as far as I know he has never since done anything even remotely criminal since, and I have never seen anything to make me believe that will change, but what he did still bothers me.
I know it sounds petty, but why can I not get past his past? --- NEED TO FORGET THE PAST
DEAR NEED TO FORGET THE PAST: Teenagers are not always known for being the best decision-makers. It may be that you never had to deal with some of the temptations and challenges many teens face, which might make you less likely to be empathetic towards those who gave in when presented with situations they weren’t mature enough to walk away from. It sounds like in your boyfriend’s case, he learned from his mistake and has become a law-abiding adult.
If you’re serious about making something of this relationship, you need to work on letting go of your boyfriend’s past juvenile action, or at least accepting it for what I agree with your mother it was, a youthful lapse of judgment.