DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son-in-law has a 1968 Ford Mustang, which I truly believe he loves more than my daughter. He puts more money into that car and spends more of his spare time, including weekends when he goes to car shows, with the car and his other Mustang nuts than he does with his own wife and family.
My daughter has broadly hinted, with her husband in earshot, that this drives her crazy, yet it makes no difference. It is so bad an addiction, or whatever you want to call it, that he cancels plans with our daughter and his own parents and siblings to do these shows. He even plans vacations around what shows he can hit.
Is this healthy? I doubt it. --- MOTHER-IN-LAW OF A CAR NUT
DEAR MOTHER—IN-LAW OF A CAR NUT: What you see as an obsession may not feel like one to your son-in-law. Hearing from his wife that it’s potentially causing trouble in his marriage might prove a wake-up call he’s not been aware he’s needed.
As much as it bothers you to believe your daughter is being neglected, it’s up to her to go well beyond hinting to her husband about her feelings. She needs to clearly, honestly, and privately communicate with him not just about this issue, but anything else that’s putting a strain on their relationship.