DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: It took us a long, long time for my husband and me to finally decide on a house to buy. We looked for nearly a year-and-a-half. Nothing was quite right for my husband. I am more accepting of the reality of nothing is perfect, but he wanted everything the way he envisioned a house should be.
Now we have been in the house for a few months, all he sees is what is not exactly as he thought it was, and he wants to start making changes, which we really can’t afford to do right now. I am fine with switching out or fixing minor DIY items, but he has decided our bedroom suite needs to be reconfigured so the closet will be bigger and the sitting area reshaped to make it more regular. That means moving walls, which we can’t do ourselves.
He also told me he wants the shower redone in the basement guest area and all the light fixtures on the first floor replaced.
These kinds of things cost money, which after buying the house we don’t have right now.
I have known my husband for a long time, and I still don’t fully understand how he can be so picky and demand everything be “just so.”
I want things to look good and function like they’re supposed to, even if they’re not perfect. Is that settling too easily? --- EASY TO PLEASE
DEAR EASY TO PLEASE: Different people simply have different expectations. That doesn’t mean either you or your husband is always in the right or wrong.
That you were able to agree on a house in the first place, albeit after a long search, shows that even your hard-to-please husband has the ability to compromise.
It’s also not surprising that after you’ve been living in your new home and getting used to it that either or both of you would find things you’d like to change. That’s all part of making a house your own.
For the sake of your finances, however, hopefully you can work out a reasonable plan for home improvements that will ultimately make your husband happier without having to become house poor to do so.