DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My eleven-year-old son started paying attention to world news when he was in fourth grade and his teacher assigned him a social studies project to follow a news story for two weeks.
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At the time, Putin’s invasion of Ukraine was the biggest story. Our son was first fascinated and then became obsessed with what was happening in that part of the world, and he can’t take his mind off that tragedy. He has watched all the movies and read all the books and blogs he can find on the crisis.
Last year he started an email correspondence with a girl his age living in Kyiv. If he doesn’t hear from her for more than a day, he drives himself to tears worrying about her.
It’s all so real for him that he has nightmares about the people there and especially his friend.
It’s gotten even worse over the past few months since the beginning of the Israeli-Hamas war. We see he is following that every day as well as checking in with his friend and on what’s happening in Ukraine.
My husband and I have met with his teacher and school counselor and they both recommend he get therapy. When I consulted with his pediatrician, she strongly agreed with the school’s recommendation and gave us a referral for a child therapist she has had good results working with.
My husband is resisting our taking him to the therapist because he is convinced this is all a stage our son will outgrow, like he did with his own obsession with football when he was our son’s age, but it makes me nervous.
Doesn’t therapy seem like a reasonable path to take for our anxious, obsessed son? --- HASN’T OUTGROWN IT
DEAR HASN’T OUTGROWN IT: You’ve heard it from your son’s school and his doctor, and what they’re advising makes good sense to me.
Although it’s possible this is, as your husband suggests, a passing fascination, that your son feels as strongly as he has for over two years may indicate something more is going on and is worth investigating with a professional, certified healthcare provider.