DEAR ABBY: My father considers himself a deeply religious man. He believes that anyone who doesn't conform to his beliefs is going to hell. He told my gay sister she is going to hell. At my brother's wake and celebration of life, he announced to everyone that my brother was going to hell because he was an atheist. He also criticized the arrangements, even though they were exactly what my brother requested. I pulled him aside and asked him to quit saying these things. He refused and declared, "This conversation is over!"
The next morning, the family voted unanimously to ask him to leave. Being the eldest, I was "elected" to deliver the news to him. He and my stepmother didn't take it well and both said a lot of terrible things. Now they refuse to accept that the whole family agreed to it, and they blame me for it.
Any ideas on how to repair the damage? My stepmother suggested I lie and say it was just me and I am sorry. Neither is true. Maybe it's best I remain estranged from my father, and he can have normal relations with the rest of the family? -- TRUTH TELLER IN GEORGIA
DEAR TRUTH TELLER: I disagree with your stepmother. Do not lie about why your father and his wife were asked to leave. Your siblings need to step forward and make plain that the vote was unanimous. If your father and stepmother choose to isolate themselves after that, you all will be better off.