DEAR ABBY: I recently went out to a bar with some friends. I was the designated driver because I no longer drink. I had a drinking problem, but I have been sober for almost seven years. The majority of the people I socialize with are supportive of my sobriety -- except one.
I have been good friends with a guy for several years. The problem is his girlfriend. She keeps mocking me for not drinking. She thinks it's all in my head and has said so to my face. I usually ignore her, but on this particular night, when it was her turn to buy the round, she set the glass down in front of me with a smirk on her face.
I was drinking regular Coke and didn't think anything about it. I thanked her and when I went to take a sip, I smelled the alcohol in it right away. Abby, she had told the bartender to put rum in my Coke. I confronted her, loudly, in front of our friends, and she called me a party pooper. She then announced that it was all in my head, and told me to lighten up. I picked up the drink, threw it in her face and stormed out.
Now my friends are mad at ME for causing a scene and embarrassing HER. I admit I lost my temper, but I feel she was totally in the wrong. I have tried to talk to them about how I felt about her disregarding my sobriety, but it's falling on deaf ears. Is there any way to fix this? -- SOBER IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR SOBER: Everyone in that crowd knows you have a problem with alcohol. Your friends should have interceded to stop that woman's bullying when it first started. That she would actually sneak a spiked drink to you was very dangerous, and I'm glad you caught on to the deception. She deserved the reaction she got for trying to sabotage you. "Fix" this by socializing with other members of the group without this couple, or find some new friends.
P.S. That this woman has such a problem with you abstaining from alcohol indicates to me that she has real problems of her own.