DEAR ABBY: I had pretty much an ideal childhood. My parents have never had issues that I ever saw. We went to church every Sunday, gathered with family often, etc. I'm now grown, and my parents are in their mid-80s.

Out of the blue, I got a message on social media from a woman who says she's my father's daughter from when he was 17 years old, before he met my mom. She found out through DNA testing. She is very nice about whether I tell my parents about her. Their health is beginning to deteriorate, and I don't want to stress them more than they can handle. At the same time, I don't know if it is right for me to withhold this information from my dad. I feel so alone in making this choice, so please give me any advice. -- SECRET-HOLDER IN GEORGIA

DEAR SECRET-HOLDER: Your father may be unaware that he fathered a child at 17. (Back then, an out-of-wedlock pregnancy was sometimes kept secret and the baby placed for adoption.) He should be given the information privately so he can decide if he would like to meet his daughter and whether, at this late date, your mother needs to know.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee and I began dating 2 1/2 years ago. We are in our late 50s. We moved in together four months ago and took out an equity loan for improvements on the house. Until we moved in, we were planning our future together, traveling and having fun. Once we moved in, however, everything changed.

Two months later, she came to me saying "something is not right." She says she loves me, she's attracted to me and doesn't want me to leave. She says I treat her like she's never been treated before, and I'm so good to her (her words). But I feel like I have been put into the friend zone. This usually happens after a couple of dates, not years. It's tearing her up because she doesn't want to feel this way, and it has me stumped about how to handle it. Is it cold feet? -- BAD CHANGE IN NEW YORK

DEAR BAD CHANGE: I don't know, you don't know and it is possible that she can't identify what's "wrong" either. Do not procrastinate. Get a referral to a licensed marriage and family therapist for pre-marital counseling. If the two of you do this, whatever is bothering her will be revealed. If she refuses to go, seek counseling without her. (I hope there is no prepayment penalty on that loan.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a friendly person who can get along with most everyone. I am petite in height -- 4-foot-8, to be exact. Recently, while my husband and I were at a social gathering, one of the male guests approached me and commented, "Who let a child in here?" I was not only hurt, but also offended at his rudeness. My husband is much taller than I am, and he has never mistaken me for a child. I'm tired of being judged for my height. Any thoughts? -- TINY BUT A TRUE ADULT

DEAR TINY: Was the guest who said it drunk? I can't otherwise account for his egregious breach of etiquette in making a comment about the appearance of another guest at the gathering. I hope you ignore his tasteless comment. (What a nitwit.)

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 37 years. We have a fairly good marriage. However, when it comes to communication, there's a lot of room for improvement. I would very much like to get a second dog. I'm home alone all day because I am on disability; I have few friends, and my social life consists of the time and attention I give my dog, "Rascal," a standard schnauzer.

We can well afford another dog; we have a big enough home, a fenced-in yard -- all of the things necessary for responsible dog ownership. The problem is, if I mention the subject, my wife gets very angry and immediately dismisses the idea without any discussion.

We don't discuss issues in our home. If my wife gives her thumbs-up, then it's a go. If she gives a thumbs-down, it's no-go. I don't think there's any reason why her refusal to get another dog should trump my desire to get one. Ideally, we should be able to sit down over a meal and collegially discuss the issue and base the decision upon what we mutually agree upon. Unfortunately, no such scenario exists.

I would appreciate any help you could give me. I would very much like another dog because having them brings me much joy and needed company. I don't ask for much. I don't understand why this is an issue. -- LONELY FOR MORE IN OHIO

DEAR LONELY: Your problem is twofold. One is acquiring another dog. The other is the imbalance of power in your marriage. I agree that important decisions like this should be shared, but that's not how things work between you and your wife. In your household, she has taken on the role of "alpha dog."

Unless the two of you open enough lines of communication that you can be heard, nothing will change, and you will grow increasingly unhappy. If you can afford a licensed marriage and family therapist, make an appointment to talk with one about this and any other issues you and your wife can't agree on. And I hope you are aware that you do not need her permission to get a second dog, if you are the person who will ensure it gets the love and care it needs.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law is with this woman, "Jana," who has three children. They call him Dad. I've no idea where the real father is. Jana is controlling, bipolar and a drunk. She doesn't cook or clean. His mother is sick, but he doesn't visit her because of Jana. They will be married in a few months.

No one in our family liked Jana from the beginning. We have reason to believe he doesn't love her and that he's just attached to the kids. We have tried warning him, but Jana is louder, and he hears her more than he hears us. I don't think we should go to the wedding. Should we let him go through with it and attend to support him? I don't want those kids to suffer if their parents are in a miserable marriage. -- OBJECTING TO IT

DEAR OBJECTING: If Jana is as bad as you say, the kids are already suffering. While I agree that it may be ill-advised for your brother-in-law to marry someone with as much baggage as Jana is bringing to their union, he's an adult and you can't stop him.

Whether their marriage will last is anybody's guess based upon how much pain your BIL can tolerate. But you should definitely go to that wedding, if only to show him you are there for him on that day and always.

DEAR ABBY: I recently gave birth to our second child, a girl. Shortly afterward, my husband called his mother. She lives in a different state hours away and visits only once a year. When he told her the happy news and our little girl's name, which we had kept a secret, she became very upset. It seems the name we had chosen, unbeknownst to us, was that of her husband's mistress from years ago.

For days afterward, she would call my husband crying and pleading with him to change our baby's name, telling him he should never have kept it a secret. She told him she would never speak that name. A week later, we received a generous gift of baby clothes in the mail from her. At this point, she hasn't checked in with me, the one who gave birth. She refuses to acknowledge our baby's name and will refer to her only as "little one."

I don't know how to thank her for her generous gift, as normally I would just call her. But it's clear she doesn't want to hear from me. Could you please advise how we move forward? -- WRONG NAME IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR WRONG NAME: It was unfortunate that the name you (and your husband, I presume) chose for your daughter was the same as the woman your father-in-law cheated with. If your mother-in-law's solution to the problem is to refer to her granddaughter as "little one," accept it. It seems very loving, actually. And when you write her a lovely thank-you note for her generous gift, sign it, "With love from (your name) and "Little One," which I think is a sweet nickname.

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married gay man in my 50s. About a year ago, I was contacted on Facebook Messenger by a man in another state, and we have developed what I consider a casual friendship. My new friend has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair. He lives with family and requires total care for his mobility and self-care. He has normal cognition, from what I can tell.

I can only imagine how difficult it would be to develop friendships and relationships with a severe disability. I have an active social life and chat here and there with him nearly every day, but I know I'm a much bigger part of his life than he is of mine. He refers to me as his best friend and says he needs his time with me. He doesn't harass me and is always respectful. He is gay, but closeted, and he knows I'm married.

It is apparent that he is very lonely. I don't want to lead him on, but I know this relationship is very unbalanced. Is it OK for me to keep casually texting, saying hello and asking about his day? I feel like I'm his only friend. -- UNCERTAIN IN TENNESSEE

DEAR UNCERTAIN: It would be a kindness to continue casually texting, saying hello and asking this extremely isolated individual about his day. But while you are at it, it would also be a kindness to encourage him to open his world and widen his circle of friends by going on the internet and talking to people with similar interests.