DEAR ABBY: I'm ashamed to admit that I'm envious of my younger brother's recent success. He got into a fantastic medical program, and once he's completed it, I'm sure he'll get a great job with loads of perks. I am proud of him and I do love him, but I can't deny my jealousy.

I have been in the military for 13 years. It's been fine as far as financial stability and job security, but my job is dull. I sit behind a desk and essentially push paper as well as perform many other unpleasant military tasks and traditions. I also follow the orders of mostly jackass supervisors.

Unfortunately, I've got it in my head that I need to do 20 years to retire. I fear starting over or taking risks outside the military without a pension cushion. I have spent a lot of my life envying the success of others. They always seem to be very happy or at least doing better than me. My brother is the most recent one.

This feeling of jealousy and, dare I say, mild depression has affected my personal life, too, as I have become very introverted and don't like talking about myself or contributing much to conversations. I know this is a broad description, but any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated. -- LOST IN THE EAST

DEAR LOST: The time has come to do some work on your self-esteem, my friend, and stop comparing yourself to others. What you are doing to yourself is a waste of time. You chose your career for intelligent reasons. Many people would like to be able to retire at 40(ish) with a guaranteed income before deciding what other fields they would like to explore. You are well on your way to achieving the goal you set for yourself.

If you are in a position to schedule some sessions with a mental health professional away from where you are stationed, it could improve your relationships with others as well as yourself. Please consider it. No matter how financially well-off a person appears to be, there is always someone richer, but not necessarily happier.

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws constantly invite themselves to stay at our home. Hubby's mom has a rule that guests strip their beds the morning they leave. This is something I don't, as the hostess, want them to do. They know it, but give me constant grief about it. Recently, my sister-in-law went ahead and stripped the sheets. I didn't realize it until after they left. It made me feel disrespected.

What should I do about them mowing over my boundary? (Hubs sides with them, but frankly, he is a momma's boy). What do I say next time the cheapos (oops, the "thrifty travelers") ask to stay? By the way, I have never stayed in their home. -- TRAMPLED BOUNDARY

DEAR TRAMPLED: I don't blame you for being annoyed. It is time to have a talk with your sister-in-law to explain how offended you were that she disregarded your wishes when she visited. Tell her it made you feel disrespected, and that if it happens again, you'd prefer she stay elsewhere. She may not like it, but it's your turf, your rules.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a group of friends who are mainly from the same country. We bond pretty well and occasionally spend time together. We mostly communicate by text in a chat group. Once in a while I get messages from them -- mostly greetings or chats about general stuff, but nothing personal.

I'm an introvert, so I'm comfortable with the level of closeness we have right now. I don't crave deeper connections with them, and I'm happy with how things are. If I have the chance to get together, I do my best to see them for meals or other activities.

In a few weeks, there is a plan for us to do an outdoor activity that requires an overnight stay. I'm not excited about it. It makes me nervous to think about spending that much time with people who are not my family. I don't mind having lunch and chitchatting all afternoon, but being around them for more than 24 hours feels like too much to handle.

I tried hinting that I'm not interested by saying I don't have any equipment for the activity. Now there is pressure for me to go because they suggested I can use their equipment. I really don't know how to say I don't want to go without seeming like I'm antisocial. Please help! -- PEER-PRESSURED

DEAR PEER-PRESSURED: Everybody is different. Not everyone is an extrovert and able to handle the stimulation of being around other people for an extended period of time.

IF you were to accept the invitation, would there be a way you might manage some alone time so you could recharge your batteries? If you could, it might solve your problem. However, if the answer to that question is no, be honest. Tell your friends the truth, that this is one excursion you will have to pass on and why.

DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old daughter has a girlfriend she's been "dating" for about eight months. They're not sexually active, and they only see each other socially a couple of weekend days every month, but they do FaceTime with each other every day. From what I can gather, they are also attached at the hip during school hours.

My concern is the length of this relationship. I remember when I was their age I had a crush on a different boy practically every week, and boyfriends didn't last long. Is it healthy for her to be in such a serious relationship? She's a very social person, has lots of friends and is active in sports. Part of me wishes they would break up so she can experience other relationships and not be tied down at such a young age. What do you think? -- TWEEN'S MOM IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MOM: I think that because your friendships ended after only a short time when you were your daughter's age does not mean that hers will (or should). Best friendships can last for years and even decades. Let your daughter mature at her own pace, and resist the urge to interfere.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a relationship with someone younger. I'm 17, and he's 15. When I first met him, I was told he was a junior. We were close friends and have been through so much together, good and bad, and we've now been in a six-month relationship.

We don't have bad intentions because we are waiting for marriage before having sex. I have struggled with depression and anxiety, but he makes me happier than I have ever been. He's the man I have been asking God for. He treats me like a princess. I have no doubt in my mind that he could be The One.

The problem is, his parents don't like the age difference. My parents don't have a problem with it because their age gap is the same. They are also very strict, and they will agree only if his parents agree. His parents have a bigger age gap but still are iffy about us. What I don't understand is why I can't be happy with him without our parents thinking we're going to have sex without thinking about consequences.

When we are together, we forget about the age gap. How do I make our parents understand? Must we break up for the sake of our parents when I could fall into another depression? I don't want to go back to where I was. I can't lose him. Please help. -- HAPPY GIRL NOW

DEAR GIRL: You don't have to lose this boyfriend, but you may have to postpone him. In the meantime, it's important that you receive help for your depression and anxiety because it's unfair to your boyfriend to make your happiness his responsibility. Your happiness should not be dependent on another person.

If your parents are unaware of your mental health struggles, tell them so they can assist you in getting professional help if necessary. If they cannot do that, talk about it with a counselor at your school.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Eli," and I bought a beautiful white Labrador puppy, "Sasha," two years ago. I live with him and my future father-in-law, "Harry," at his father's house. Eli's father is basically a man-child. Harry feeds Sasha table scraps, and even though we have asked him to stop, he doesn't. He laughs and says the food won't hurt her. I think he is being very disrespectful.

The extra food is making Sasha gain weight. We are worried about her health, but Harry doesn't care. We don't have enough money to move out yet. Harry is home a lot during the day when my boyfriend and I are working. We pay all of Sasha's vet and food bills. I'm not sure what to do about this. I would appreciate any advice you can give me. -- PET PROJECT IN NEW YORK

DEAR PET PROJECT: If possible, start asking friends or relatives if they would be willing to have Sasha stay with them during the day while you and Eli are working. Obesity isn't healthy for canines or humans, and regardless of Harry's motivation, he should not be stuffing your puppy after you have asked him not to.