DEAR ABBY: I'm a 57-year-old, attractive, single, childless woman. Why is it that the men I meet are just plain dumb? They have the conversational skills of 5-year-olds and the same juvenile behavior. They are either emotionally unavailable and just after sex, or at the opposite end of the spectrum -- available emotionally, but the sex is just ... okay. I cannot be the first woman to ask the question: Are boys just dumb? -- SMARTER THAN I THINK IN IOWA

DEAR SMARTER: As a matter of fact, you are the first. With the advent of social media, people's social skills began declining. The men you are meeting may not have the same level of education that you do, but it doesn't mean they are "dumb." Men ultimately want what women want, I think. By that, I mean companionship, a relationship and ... sex.

You might have better luck if you try to meet men whose values more closely mirror your own. Do some volunteering, take a class or join a group activity you enjoy. As to your disappointment in the sexual performance of the men in your past who were emotionally available: Try to remember that men are teachable creatures and often eager to please, if you are willing to communicate what you need. Perhaps the problem is that those communication skills could use some polishing.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing for advice about my best friend "Eva's" husband. I have known her more than 25 years. Her husband, "Dan," doesn't get along with me, but we both agreed to remain civil and neutral for the sake of the friendship. When there are get-togethers at their home, Dan usually stays in the basement. I stay away from him and don't say a word to him.

The last time I was there, he made rude and insulting comments directed at me. I didn't react. Eva and I have agreed to not let him get in the way of our friendship. I'm not sure how to handle this, because Eva asked me not to respond, but Dan is pushing me to a point where it's hard to not say something. When I told Eva about the situation, she said she'd talk to him. She never got back to me, and I feel she just brushes it off. Please help. -- STUCK FRIEND IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FRIEND: It's time for another chat with Eva about the treatment you are receiving from dear old Dan. With the understanding that she can't force her husband to change, it may be time to make adjustments to how, when and where you get together. Since Dan can't behave himself and be a gentleman, she can visit you at your home or out in public without Dan being there.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend of four years, whose home I share, has twice not asked me to attend memorial services for two friends of hers. Should I have been invited? I attended one once before at her request, but I mostly waited for her at the bar. -- KEPT AWAY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR KEPT AWAY: Because the deceased were friends of hers and you spent most of your time at the bar, I can understand why you weren't invited to tag along to later memorials. I don't think this is worth holding a grudge over. Let it go.

DEAR ABBY: I'm ashamed to admit that I'm envious of my younger brother's recent success. He got into a fantastic medical program, and once he's completed it, I'm sure he'll get a great job with loads of perks. I am proud of him and I do love him, but I can't deny my jealousy.

I have been in the military for 13 years. It's been fine as far as financial stability and job security, but my job is dull. I sit behind a desk and essentially push paper as well as perform many other unpleasant military tasks and traditions. I also follow the orders of mostly jackass supervisors.

Unfortunately, I've got it in my head that I need to do 20 years to retire. I fear starting over or taking risks outside the military without a pension cushion. I have spent a lot of my life envying the success of others. They always seem to be very happy or at least doing better than me. My brother is the most recent one.

This feeling of jealousy and, dare I say, mild depression has affected my personal life, too, as I have become very introverted and don't like talking about myself or contributing much to conversations. I know this is a broad description, but any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated. -- LOST IN THE EAST

DEAR LOST: The time has come to do some work on your self-esteem, my friend, and stop comparing yourself to others. What you are doing to yourself is a waste of time. You chose your career for intelligent reasons. Many people would like to be able to retire at 40(ish) with a guaranteed income before deciding what other fields they would like to explore. You are well on your way to achieving the goal you set for yourself.

If you are in a position to schedule some sessions with a mental health professional away from where you are stationed, it could improve your relationships with others as well as yourself. Please consider it. No matter how financially well-off a person appears to be, there is always someone richer, but not necessarily happier.

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws constantly invite themselves to stay at our home. Hubby's mom has a rule that guests strip their beds the morning they leave. This is something I don't, as the hostess, want them to do. They know it, but give me constant grief about it. Recently, my sister-in-law went ahead and stripped the sheets. I didn't realize it until after they left. It made me feel disrespected.

What should I do about them mowing over my boundary? (Hubs sides with them, but frankly, he is a momma's boy). What do I say next time the cheapos (oops, the "thrifty travelers") ask to stay? By the way, I have never stayed in their home. -- TRAMPLED BOUNDARY

DEAR TRAMPLED: I don't blame you for being annoyed. It is time to have a talk with your sister-in-law to explain how offended you were that she disregarded your wishes when she visited. Tell her it made you feel disrespected, and that if it happens again, you'd prefer she stay elsewhere. She may not like it, but it's your turf, your rules.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a group of friends who are mainly from the same country. We bond pretty well and occasionally spend time together. We mostly communicate by text in a chat group. Once in a while I get messages from them -- mostly greetings or chats about general stuff, but nothing personal.

I'm an introvert, so I'm comfortable with the level of closeness we have right now. I don't crave deeper connections with them, and I'm happy with how things are. If I have the chance to get together, I do my best to see them for meals or other activities.

In a few weeks, there is a plan for us to do an outdoor activity that requires an overnight stay. I'm not excited about it. It makes me nervous to think about spending that much time with people who are not my family. I don't mind having lunch and chitchatting all afternoon, but being around them for more than 24 hours feels like too much to handle.

I tried hinting that I'm not interested by saying I don't have any equipment for the activity. Now there is pressure for me to go because they suggested I can use their equipment. I really don't know how to say I don't want to go without seeming like I'm antisocial. Please help! -- PEER-PRESSURED

DEAR PEER-PRESSURED: Everybody is different. Not everyone is an extrovert and able to handle the stimulation of being around other people for an extended period of time.

IF you were to accept the invitation, would there be a way you might manage some alone time so you could recharge your batteries? If you could, it might solve your problem. However, if the answer to that question is no, be honest. Tell your friends the truth, that this is one excursion you will have to pass on and why.

DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old daughter has a girlfriend she's been "dating" for about eight months. They're not sexually active, and they only see each other socially a couple of weekend days every month, but they do FaceTime with each other every day. From what I can gather, they are also attached at the hip during school hours.

My concern is the length of this relationship. I remember when I was their age I had a crush on a different boy practically every week, and boyfriends didn't last long. Is it healthy for her to be in such a serious relationship? She's a very social person, has lots of friends and is active in sports. Part of me wishes they would break up so she can experience other relationships and not be tied down at such a young age. What do you think? -- TWEEN'S MOM IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MOM: I think that because your friendships ended after only a short time when you were your daughter's age does not mean that hers will (or should). Best friendships can last for years and even decades. Let your daughter mature at her own pace, and resist the urge to interfere.