DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine is a video content creator. The other day while we were having lunch, I suggested a concept for one of her videos. She seemed uninterested in the idea at the time and sort of brushed it off. A few days later, I logged on to Instagram and saw that she did, in fact, create a video incorporating the concept that I suggested. The problem is that she didn't credit me with the idea at all and instead said that she found the idea “somewhere online.” I feel hurt and confused. What should I do? -- I Want My Credit

DEAR I WANT MY CREDIT: You should speak to your friend immediately. Confront her about using your idea without attribution. If she is truly a “good friend,” ask her why she would falsely state that she found the idea “somewhere online.” Be strong as you speak to her, and demand that she add proper attribution to the video. Further, tell her that if she makes money on the idea, you expect some type of financial compensation. Do your research to find out what creatives are paid for video ideas so that you have a clear understanding as you talk to her. As a friend, tell her how disappointed you are that she essentially stole your idea.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After being divorced from my dad for about 15 years, my mom is finally dating someone new, and they seem very happy. Although I'm thrilled for her, it's been difficult for me to get to know this new man. I feel hesitant and a bit standoffish around him. He seems to be a nice guy. It's just that my mother went through so much with my dad that I can’t stand the idea of watching her go through something like that again. I know it's important for me to accept this new relationship, but I'm not sure what's holding me back. Do you have any advice on how I can be more welcoming to this new man and less closed off? -- Hesitant

DEAR HESITANT: Your mother was probably wary at first about letting her guard down with this man. Trust her judgment and give him a chance. If you don’t allow yourself to get to know your mom’s boyfriend, your mother may never be able to completely let herself relax into her relationship either. Can you ensure that she will never be hurt again? No. But you can get to know this man, find out how he thinks and what he believes in and observe how he treats your mother. Be respectful when you communicate with him, and be proactive about being in his company. That’s the only way you can get a sense of him. Do not assume that he has the same flaws as your father. Assess him on his own behavior and merit. It may be difficult for you to do, but your mother is counting on you. Take it one encounter at a time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year, people remember 9/11 for the horror of the day and also the solidarity that it brought to our country. I wasn’t born until after it happened, so I only know it from reading and from my parents’ recollections. Sometimes I feel disconnected from the impact of the disaster. My parents lost good friends in the World Trade Center, so I want to be respectful. What I normally do is just support them in whatever ways they ask. Is there something else I should do? -- Post-9/11

DEAR POST-9/11: There is no script for how to behave in the aftermath of a disaster like 9/11. Even though it occurred many years ago, its impact continues to reverberate throughout the United States and the rest of the world.

On a personal level, you can look for ways to promote peaceful engagement among people who may not share the same views. Look for organizations that focus on building relationships between people across generations, political ideologies and backgrounds. I believe that the way that we will ultimately create peace is to learn to listen to each other and respect our similarities and differences. This is much harder to do than to say out loud. Finding ways to live side by side with respect no matter our beliefs is a big goal. Your own actions toward building relationships in your life is what you can do to honor the past and build the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend just got out of a toxic relationship, but instead of feeling free and liberated, she seems even more unhappy. She was so consumed by the relationship that now that it's over, she doesn't know what to do with herself. She mopes around the house, talks about him all day and night and seems completely stuck. She is drinking heavily and not going to work. When she does go, she says she is distracted. I am worried about her. I've been trying to support her, but it seems like nothing is helping. My worst fear is that she’ll end up going right back to him. Is there anything I can do as a friend to help her? -- Trying To Help

DEAR TRYING TO HELP: Some people believe that they are addicted to bad relationships and cannot find a way to extricate themselves. The energy is so strong and compelling that it can feel like a drug. This may be what your friend is feeling. She seems to be wrapped up in his energy right now. She needs something to break the bond between her and this toxic engagement.

Encourage your friend to go to a therapist. What she experienced with her partner may have destabilized her. She needs to learn ways to take care of herself and learn how to love herself again apart from him. Disentangling from a messy relationship takes time, patience and support. Professional help may give her the tools she needs to begin to notice a partner who is a better match for her rather than slipping back into old patterns.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a university student going into my junior year. I have wanted to study abroad in Spain since I was in middle school. My sister recently returned from her semester abroad in Spain and said that she felt at peace there. I recently set up a meeting with my financial adviser, and she made me feel defeated because my family’s EFC (expected family contribution) has changed for this school year, significantly reducing the aid I might receive. I now have to raise over $20,000 in scholarships.

I don’t know if I will be able to do this because I am no longer eligible for most of the scholarships I was planning to apply for. I am still going to try to raise the funds, but I’m crushed that I might not be able to do something that I have been dreaming about for years. How do I prepare myself for the fact that I may not be able to fulfill my dream of studying abroad? -- Longing To Go Abroad

DEAR LONGING TO GO ABROAD: Don’t give us so quickly. Get creative instead. Consider creating a crowdfunding campaign where you appeal to people about your desire to experience a semester abroad. Write a compelling pitch and set a financial goal. Then share your campaign broadly. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and ask for the money. You just might get it.

Also, talk to your school and investigate different opportunities to get scholarships. What you first thought was possible may not be, but that doesn’t mean that nothing is available. Look for large-size scholarships as well as smaller ones. Apply for everything. Go to civic organizations in your hometown as well as houses of worship. Set an intention that you will raise the money, and go for it. Get a job to help raise money.

If, for any reason, it doesn’t happen, you will survive. You will feel good about yourself, too, that you gave it all you had to make that dream happen.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has been involved in a bit of controversy in our hometown. I haven’t lived there for decades. She moved back recently, and because of what happened, people are talking badly about her. I feel for her. While it seems like she did do what people are accusing her of, she still deserves support. I want to be there for her, but I do not want to get in the middle of politics in our town. How can I manage this? -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Talk to her about the situation, and ask her how she is feeling about things. Tell her that you want to support her behind the scenes. Be honest and admit that you are not interested in getting involved in what feels like a local scandal. Find out what she feels she needs to help her navigate this situation. Offer to be a private sounding board. Promise to always tell her the truth, but draw the line when it comes to being publicly involved. If others find out that you are supporting her, do not lie. Tell the truth: You believe everyone deserves support. That’s what you are offering to her -- without judgment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)