DEAR ABBY: I am the oldest of three. We grew up in an abusive alcoholic family. I'm considered the "failure" of the family because I don't drink. I graduated from college, work full time, got married and have a pretty stable life.
Both of my younger siblings drink and use drugs, and their lives are in constant turmoil. The youngest sibling has mentioned they will need to move by the end of this month and their current job has not paid them for several weeks. I dread that they will ask to stay at my house soon, which I cannot allow because of the drinking and drug use. I know they will be upset that they can't stay with me. How do I protect my peace without feeling like I'm making my sibling homeless? -- BAD SISTER IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BAD SISTER: Your reason for not wanting to host your substance-using sibling is sensible. State it kindly and clearly and do not feel guilty about it. You won't be making your sibling homeless. Unless your sibling is friendless, which I doubt, they will find another place to crash, I assure you.