DEAR ABBY: We moved from Indiana to Florida 30 years ago. Ten years later, I moved back for a job, but returned to Florida after 9/11. I recently received a letter from a friend telling me that I hadn't visited Indiana in 14 years.
This friend, who has been in a long-standing relationship for 40 years, visited us once in Florida 28 years ago. He surprised us by coordinating a liaison during that visit with an old boyfriend -- who slept over. It was very awkward. This friend hasn't visited us here again, but did travel to Miami. We drove eight hours round-trip to see him and his partner. He considered this "visiting us."
I know from others that he and his partner have come down to Florida often over the past 30 years without calling or seeing us. I was also close to his sisters when we lived in Indiana, but only one visited us -- 26 years ago -- and never again. Another sister has a condo an hour south of us and has never contacted us despite visiting her condo at least once a year.
Have I missed something? The sisters don't communicate with me. Why must I be the traveler? Why can't they call when they visit the area? Should I include this in my letters to my friend, which are frequent? He guilted me in his last letter. How should I word my response? I feel a need to say something, but I want the words to be right. -- ONE-SIDED IN FLORIDA
DEAR ONE-SIDED: You and this person are pen pals, nothing more. If you enjoy the correspondence, ignore the attempt at a guilt trip if that's what the comment was intended to be. You and his sisters are acquaintances, not friends. Their lack of communication with you should have sent that message. I cannot understand why you should chase after them. Stop nursing grievances. Concentrate on the people in your life who actually reciprocate your friendship and you will be much happier.